Advice for Pallbearers
When someone is asked to be a pallbearer for someone who has died, they may find that they have to temper their own emotional grief for the loss in order to honor and serve the bereaved family.
People who are asked to be pallbearers at funerals at funeral homes in Roanoke, VA often find themselves feeling honored to have been asked, but also unsure how to manage their own grief in order to serve a family that is grieving. If you don't feel like you can handle what's required of pallbearers, then you can politely decline the request. However, if you are able to be a pallbearer, there are some things to keep in mind that can help you fulfill this very important funeral service duty.
Being a pallbearer is a somber responsibility, so the first thing to keep in mind is that you should dress for the funeral service in a very conservative way. Although it's more common now that some people dressed casually for funeral services, for people who are serving in a capacity for the funeral, a conservative dress code applies.
For men, a dark-colored suit, a white shirt, and a conservative tie is appropriate. For women, a simple dark pantsuit or dress is appropriate. The dress should not be formfitting, short, or sleeveless. Jewelry should be inconspicuous. The focus of a funeral is the person that has died, and neither the mourners nor anybody participating in the funeral service should draw attention to themselves by the way they dress or by the accessories they are wearing.
All close should be neatly pressed and a lint roller should be used to remove pet hair or any other things that tend to cling to dark clothing. If the funeral is several hours away, you may want to take your dress clothes with you and change into them once you get there.
Another thing that will make being a pallbearer easier is to wear sensible shoes. For men, this would be dress shoes that are polished and have nonslip soles. For women, the shoes would be flat and modest with nonslip soles. Since pallbearers walk and carry the casket from the funeral service to the hearse and then from the hearse to the gravesite at cemetery, they are likely to be walking on uneven surfaces, such as grass and up or down hills.
If you're pallbearer, you should be at the funeral home early so that the funeral director can give you the instructions that you'll need to perform the service. Plan to arrive at least 15 minutes before the specified meeting time. Be sure to leave home early enough so that you don't get delayed or arrive late because of traffic or road closures.
Turn your cell phone off. This is a general rule for all people who are attending funerals, but it especially is pertinent to pallbearers. Imagine how embarrassing it would be to have your cell phone ring while you're carrying the casket to or from the hearse. It would be considered extremely disrespectful both to the deceased and to the grieving family.
It's very important to follow the funeral director's instructions. When they tell you what you need to do, where you're supposed to go, and how you're supposed to do things, then be sure to listen carefully and do exactly what you're told to do. You may have other ideas, but funeral directors have been doing this for so long that they know the best way to do everything associated with the funeral.
For information on pallbearer duties at funeral homes in Roanoke, VA, our compassionate and experienced staff at Conner-Bowman Funeral Home & Crematory is here to help. You can come by our funeral home at 62 Virginia Market Place Dr., Rocky Mount, VA, 24151 or you can contact us today at (540) 334-5151.
