Dying in America

You may be making funeral arrangements for the first time at a funeral home in Boones Mill, VA because this is the first time in your life that someone close to you has died. The entire experience may seem foreign and surreal. 

That is, in part, because death and dying in America have been things that our culture puts as far away from the living as possible. Modern medicine is partially responsible for that, as the focus has shifted from helping people comfortably come to the end of their lives to trying to keep people live as long as possible. 

But the American mindset and the shift in family/community dynamics in the last century are also responsible. 

One hundred years ago, almost everybody who was dying died at home. Doctors took care of their dying patients by making home visits. Although there were hospitals, they were not used as a facility to send someone to die, but instead they were used for acute care, such as surgeries or setting broken bones. 

When people came to the end of their lives, their families surrounded them and they died at home. In fact, much of what is now done by funeral homes in the days before burial was done at home. 

Family members washed and dressed the body of their deceased loved one. Their deceased loved one was laid out in the front parlor of the home, where friends, neighbors, and other family members came by to pay their respects and offer their sympathy and condolences to the bereaved family. 

The funeral home came in on the day of the funeral service and burial and took the body of the deceased to the church or cemetery where they would be laid to rest. 

Today, however, many people die in hospitals, assisted living facilities, or nursing homes. Sadly, some of the most elderly have had their lives extended by modern medicine, but they have suffered diminished quality of life in the process. 

Family members are often far away and don’t see the dying process personally. So, in the 21st century, death has become a surprise and it’s a process that many Americans are simply not familiar with. 

So, when you walk into a funeral home for the first time to make funeral arrangements for a loved one, you are walking into the unknown. 

Funeral directors are aware of the cultural shifts in America regarding death and dying. They are very capable of easing family members through the process of death and the funeral process itself. 

The funeral director is there as a guide to help you make the best decisions about how to lay your loved one to rest. They can help you choose a cemetery, obtain a burial plot, plan the funeral service, and plan the graveside service. 

However, you may find that, after this first experience with death, your attitudes about death and dying change. It may be that as more loved ones face death – and you yourself face your own death – that you don’t want death and dying to be remote and impersonal. 

You may also find that you value quality of life more than quantity of life, which may change how you approach the end of life for your loved ones and for yourself. 

There is a gradual shift in American culture toward dying at home and not extending life just because it can be extended. Some Americans realize the value of being surrounded by family during the last days of your life and having as much quality of life as possible until you die. 

For information on making funeral arrangements at funeral home in Boones Mill, VA, our compassionate and experienced staff at Conner-Bowman Funeral Home & Crematory is here to help.