Funeral Etiquette Explained

Attending funerals at Penhook, VA funeral homes is governed by rules of etiquette that should be adhered to in order to be respectful to the deceased and to the deceased's family. Our society, in general, has moved to a more casual way of doing things and much of the etiquette for special occasions, such as funerals, has been lost or forgotten in the process. 

One aspect of funeral etiquette starts with what is worn to funerals. Funerals are different than any other social gathering in the world. Because they are events that are replete with grief and mourning and they serve as a tribute to someone who has died, dress should be appropriate and reflect respect. 

While many churches have relaxed their dress codes to "come as you are," funerals still demand a certain dress code. Jeans, t-shirts, flip-flops, sandals, shorts, and hats or caps should not be worn to funerals. Instead, women should wear a nice pantsuit or simple dress – preferably a dark color – without jewelry, while men should wear a dress shirt and dress pants. Shoes should be modest – no high heels for women – and tasteful. 

If the there is a visitation before the funeral, do not show up at the funeral home before the visitation hours that are listed. The family arrives at the funeral home early so that they can spend time alone with the deceased before they have to greet mourners. Showing up early interrupts this time, which may be very emotional for some members of the family. 

Before going into the visitation, be sure to sign the guest registry with your full name. Someone should be there to direct you to the registry, which will be given to the family after the funeral. Because families are still in shock – even if the death was expected – during the funeral process, they may not remember everyone who came to the visitation and/or the funeral, so this record lets them know, at a later time, that you were there. 

When going through the visitation line, be brief. If the deceased was well-known or the family has a lot of connections in the community, there will be a lot of people who will be going through the line. If one person dominates the family's time, they will miss the opportunity to speak with and see everyone. This can lead to hurt feelings on the part of people who wanted an opportunity to speak with the family. 

Once you've been through the visitation line, go the back of the room to find a seat for the funeral. Seats for a funeral are generally filled in from back to front, with people taking the next open seat on a row that has not been filled yet. Seating starts inside the row and moves out toward the aisle. If someone takes an aisle seat, and there are empty seats inside the row, then they either have to get up to let people in or people have to climb over them. That's not good funeral etiquette. 

Once seated, you should sit quietly until the funeral starts. You may acknowledge people around you, but there should not be any loud talking or raucous laughter. You're in the house of mourning, and funeral etiquette demands that you respect that. 

Once the funeral is over, the funeral director may or may not dismiss people by rows. If they do not, get up and follow your row out and then leave the funeral home politely, but quietly. 

If you want to learn more about funeral etiquette at Penhook, VA funeral homes, our compassionate and experienced staff at Conner-Bowman Funeral Home & Crematory is here to help. You can come by our funeral home at 62 Virginia Market Place Dr., Rocky Mount, VA, 24151 or you can contact us today at (540) 334-5151.