Funeral Gratuities

November 4, 2019

It is customary to tip some of the participants in funeral preparations as a way to thank them for their help during a time of need and grieving. But who should be tipped and who shouldn't?

Understanding funeral gratuities at funeral homes in Wirtz, VA will help family members of a loved one who has died to know who customarily gets tips for their role in the funeral and who does not. When you're grieving, this part of funeral protocol will probably be the last thing on your mind, but this guide will help explain how funeral gratuities work and who should receive a tip for their service or participation in the funeral. 


First, there are some general guidelines you should be aware of regarding funeral gratuities. Be sure to have postal stamps on hand. Funeral gratuities should be made by using cash or writing a check. If you will be using cash for your funeral gratuities, you should go to your bank and ask for brand new bills.   


Put each gratuity in a plain white envelope and write the person's name or their role in the funeral on the front of the envelope. If you are mailing a gratuity, do not send cash. Instead, write a check and a thank-you not. Enclose it in a plain, white envelope. Include the person's mailing address and your return address. Put a postal stamp on it and mail it as soon as possible after the service has been performed. 


If you are giving gratuities at the funeral, simply hand the envelope with cash or a check to the person whose name (or role) is on it and tell them that you appreciate their help. 


Who should get funeral gratuities? 


Funeral directors typically do not receive gratuities. However, it's customary to thank the funeral director with a thank-you note, and by leaving a positive review for the funeral home online. 


Like the funeral director, the funeral home staff does not usually receive gratuities. However, the funeral home's staff works very hard behind the scenes to make sure you and your family get the best and most empathetic support during the funeral process, so it would be a wonderful gesture to send them a thank-you note and a small gift of appreciation (this could be as simple as a couple dozen donuts or a batch of freshly-baked cookies). 


The clergy member who performs the funeral service is entitled to a funeral gratuity. Some clergy members see this as part of their normal traditional service to their congregation and will not accept a gratuity, but others will accept a small payment for their service. Whatever the clergy member does is a matter of individual conscience, so it's not wrong to accept a gratuity, nor is it wrong to refuse a gratuity. The typical gratuity for a clergy member who performs a funeral service is between $50 and $150. Be sure to also include a thank-you note. 


If live music is performed at the funeral service, the usual gratuity is $30 per musician, even if they are family members or friends. A thank-you note should be given to each musician. 


If you receive funeral floral deliveries from friends and family, the florist delivery person should receive a small gratuity (between $3 and $5). 


Pallbearers, who are usually family members or close friends, do not customarily receive a funeral gratuity. However, you should send each pallbearer a personalized thank-you note as soon as possible after the funeral service.   


For more information on funeral gratuities at funerals at funeral homes in Wirtz, VA, our compassionate and experienced staff at Conner-Bowman Funeral Home & Crematory is here to help. You can come by our funeral home at 62 Virginia Market Place Dr., Rocky Mount, VA, 24151 or you can contact us today at (540) 334-5151.


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