The Unwritten Written Rules in Funeral Homes

February 15, 2021

If you’re attending your first funeral at a funeral home, there are unwritten rules that you may not know about, but that you should become familiar with before you go.

funeral homes in Ferrum, VA

When people are attending their first funerals at funeral homes in Ferrum, VA, they may be unaware that there are certain unwritten rules that everyone who attends funerals is expected to know and abide by. You won’t find these posted inside the funeral home as you walk in, so it’s better to understand what these rules are before you get to the funeral home.


The first unwritten rule that you may be unaware of is that the clothing that you wear matters. To be able to appreciate you this more fully, you need to think about why you are attending the funeral in the first place.


Someone you know or a family member of someone you know has died and you are going to demonstrate your support for the grieving family and to pay your respects to their loved one who has died. The funeral service, then, is about the deceased person and their family, and the clothes you wear should reflect that.


So, a few tips about the type of clothing you wear follow.


Dress modestly and in muted (black, gray, navy, or dark brown) colors. Nothing that you wear should draw any attention to yourself. Except for engagement or wedding rings, you should not wear any other jewelry.


Dress up a little. Funerals are more formal events. Although you may be more comfortable in clothes like jeans, sweatshirts or t-shirts, and tennis shoes, wearing these to a funeral is considered a sign of disrespect to the person who has died and to the bereaved family.


Another unwritten rule of funerals is that you should be on time for the service. Coming in late to a funeral is also seen as a sign of disrespect to the deceased and to their family. Be sure that you leave work or your home in enough time to allow for road construction, accidents, or other traffic delays.


The optimal timeframe for arriving at the funeral home is 10 to 15 minutes before the service starts. This will give you enough time to park, to get into the funeral home, to sign the guest book, and to find a seat before the funeral service starts.


If you are going to a visitation or a viewing, you should arrive at the funeral home between the visitation or viewing hours listed in the obituary. Do not go in before the scheduled hours, even if you arrive early.


This time, before the visitation or the viewing begins, is reserved for the immediate family of the deceased to spend private time with them and to say their private goodbyes. You do not want to intrude on their time and space during this difficult and, often, emotional time.


Digital devices should not attend the funeral service with you. Most funerals last no longer than an hour. Nothing on those devices cannot wait until you are done with the funeral service. The solemnity of the funeral service should not be interrupted by ringtones and other sounds notifying you that you have a new post on social media, a new email, a new text message, or a phone call.


A final unwritten rule of funerals is that you should always find the next available seat from the back of the funeral venue. Whether there are pews or chairs at the funeral venue, there is nothing more distracting than people having to crawl over people to take an empty seat in the middle of a row because the end seats on the aisle are already occupied.


For more information on unwritten funeral rules at funeral homes in Ferrum, VA, our compassionate and experienced staff at Conner-Bowman Funeral Home & Crematory is here to help.


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