Work and Grief

After Roanoke, VA cremations, grieving family members who are employed are expected to be back at work quickly and to perform as if nothing extraordinary has happened to them and in their lives. This is Western corporate culture and it can be very hard for those who are still in the early stages of accepting, adjusting to, and processing the deaths of their loved ones. 

There are many pressures that we face when we are employed that exist outside the space of grief. In addition to deadlines and meetings, we have to deal with the intangible day-to-day of company culture, coworkers, leadership, and customers. Not all of these areas are smooth or easy in the best of times, but they can seem unbearable when we are grieving the loss of someone we love. 

Modern corporate culture in the West expects people who are returning from losing a loved one to leave their feelings at home and get right back to work with the same level of energy and being able to bear the same level of pressure and intensity as before the death. 

It doesn’t happen. Most people returning to work find themselves still in the fog of the initial shock of losing someone they loved. They have just been through the exhausting funeral process and they are still in the initial stages of grieving. Thinking is dominated by everything but work. Deadlines slip, more mistakes happen, and interaction with other people can be difficult, even if it wasn’t before. 

One of the things that is most difficult about getting back into the routine of life for people who are grieving is that they are different because the world has crashed emotionally around them, yet everyone one else is going on like nothing traumatic has happened. That’s the inner view of someone in the midst of grief as they look out at everyone else and it can make the person’s loss seem small and unimportant, which can further intensify their grief and feeling of being all alone in their sadness.

Often, people at work will avoid talking about the death, either because they are uncomfortable, they don’t know what to say, or they’re afraid of unleashing an emotional avalanche that they won’t know how to deal with. This can be very isolating for the person who has lost a loved one and it can trigger depression and a sense of hopelessness. 

For people at work with whom relationships have never been easy or good, the person who is grieving may find that these people are even harder to tolerate and to try to get along with. If some of those people are workplace bullies – and every company has them – they may take advantage of the grieving person’s vulnerability and attack them at every turn just for the fun of it (that’s what most bullies do) or to try to break them (bullies also do this). 

All of these things, some of these things, or one of these things can make returning to work for people who are grieving the loss of a loved one so unbearable that they end up quitting the job by either resigning or just abandoning the job. It’s an irrational decision, but there is little rational about being in the throes of emotional upheaval. 

For additional guidance for going back to work after Roanoke, VA cremations, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Lynch Conner-Bowman Funeral Home can assist you. You can visit our funeral home at 140 Floyd Ave., Rocky Mount, VA, 24151, or you can call us today at (540) 483-5533.