Moving Forward After the Death of a Partner

After a funeral at a funeral home in Roanoke, VA, you will have a grieving period for the partner – the soulmate – you lost. Whether your relationship was just a few years old or lasted for decades, the loss of a partner in life produces a deep grief that includes heartache, memories, mourning for the lost future, and loneliness. 

You may have had children together. Your children may still be young and coping with their own grief of losing a parent. Your children may be grown and are living independently with partners and children of their own, but they, too, are processing the grief of losing a parent. 

You may have friends that were friends to you and your partner as a couple. You may find that some of them disappear after your partner’s death, not because they don’t care, but simply because you are no longer part of a couple. 

You may have friends that were your friends and your partner may have had friends that were their friends, and while everyone knew and cared about each other, they were still your friends primarily and your partner’s friends primarily. 

All these relationships, you find, get much more complicated after the death of your partner. Everyone has strong feelings about you and your partner as a couple and they, not surprisingly, will have strong feelings about what you do, relationship-wise, after the death of your partner. 

Whether you’re younger or older when you lose a partner, one of the things you may find is that, after you’ve move through the intense stage of grieving the loss of your loved one and you start moving forward with your life without that them, you start developing new relationships. 

You may find that a few of these relationships are close and, perhaps, even romantically-inclined. You may feel guilty that you’re betraying your deceased partner by moving forward into another relationship. 

You may worry about what your children and friends will think. You may even keep the relationship a secret because you feel like your friends and family (including your deceased partner’s family) will disapprove of the relationship. 

However, if you do find a relationship that is fulfilling and worth investing in, then you should, by all means, do so. You may get some backlash from your friends and family, but it’s important to recognize and understand that their negative reactions and feelings are theirs to deal with and not yours to fix. 

If you have younger children, they may resent what they see as a parent replacement in their lives. You and your new partner should openly discuss this, emphasizing that your new partner will never replace their parent, but will do everything in their power to love and support them as they grow up. 

If you have adult children, they may see your new relationship as a betrayal to their deceased parent. It’s important for you and your partner to communicate with them that their deceased parent will always be a part of all of your lives and that, while you still love your deceased partner, they would wish for you to be happy and have a fulfilling life. 

Friends may be critical, especially friends of your deceased partner, because they are protective of their memory and of your lives as a couple. You may find that they react negatively to your new relationship and sever their relationships with you because of it. 

It's important to remember that sometimes love does come around twice in a lifetime. If you’re happy, then that is what matters. In time, everyone else will catch up. 

For information about planning a funeral at a funeral home in Roanoke, VA, our caring and knowledgeable staff at Conner-Bowman Funeral Home & Crematory can assist you.